By Larry Rosenberg
Every one of us can do a better job of communicating – face to face, by phone, and in writing – especially in the workplace, where professional and personal feeling tend to get mixed. To improve our communication performance to get the outcomes we desire starts with taking in the constructive feedback from one or more persons, who we trust and who respects us.
You may want to regard this constructive feedback as less about asking you to stop or change what you have been doing, and much more about inviting you to broaden and deepen your communication repertoire – for greater flexibility, adaptability and creativity. In this way, you can be even more successful in the future – in a wider range of business and social situations, and with a larger variety of important people.
Below are several ways to communicate more successfully. Only you can identify the ones that you need to work on.
Slow down and vary the speed of your speaking. And shorten your longish flow of words before making a genuine pause.
It tires people to hear a speaker go on and on, and at top, almost super-human, speed -- which does not feel natural in conversation (although it might has showmanship value). The result may be that they are hearing you, but actually not listening to all you are saying. This listening editing may mean that they do not get the key points you really want to convey.
Listeners need more time -- just a few second of quiet -- to take in, digest and consider your new, creative and sophisticated statements. This we cannot do easily or well when you jump from idea to idea. We do not always believe that you are thinking things through. It may come across as more force of performance than power of thought; and not always realizing the nuances and consequences of your ideas.
Pauses would be welcomed as they would better enable us to take in every one of your substantial ideas and respond to or ask a question of you. And they would better allow you to consider your previous statement (do you want to modify it?), and to reflect momentarily on your next statement (considering its implications, exceptions, consequences and/or risks).
Machines, such as robots, now or someday, will speak long and quickly. But that is not the affect (the root of affection) that people feel comfortable with and trust. The human touch – smiling, empathy and connection – is what really counts, rather than the quantity and rapidity of information.
Inevitably in a long/fast performance, there is the increased presence of gratuitous information. Aldo, a running-on speaking approach increases the repetition of points, which are not necessary and can become annoying.
Put another way, in conversations too much quantity (your tendency) can overwhelm and obscure genuine quality.
While not your conscious and explicit intent, the tour-de-force, long-and-fast statement style at can comes across as pushy (rather than engaging and inviting), selling (rather than explaining), and desperate (rather than poised, confident and sincere).
The long/fast speaking delivery approach may result in an immediate and apparently positive outcome, but may just as well be a reflection of a forced agreement – which later is regretted, resisted and rescinded.
In a long presentation done at a fast speed, it is more difficult for the listener to discern which are your major and which are your minor points. An effective way to make the major points stand out is to speak them at a slower speed – and with a heightened smile and leaning forward.
When the goal of your presentation/persuasion is for people not just to hear your points, but to understand, remember and act upon them, then pausing after each point, with the major ones having been spoken at a slower speed, would be a desirable speaking strategy.
It is believed that most top-of-the-food-chain persons (VIPs) appreciate class, finesse, quality, conciseness and precision. Following the recommendations outlined above can better convey this impression.
Showing posts with label Raise Your Bar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Raise Your Bar. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Raising the Bar: On Becoming a Vegetarian
By Larry Rosenberg
For years I was aware that important people to me were becoming vegetarians. Some gave the explanation of better health (or less weight and disease), better for animals (who will now be more at ease with you), or better for the Earth’s sustainability. I also realized that the definition of a vegetarian was flexible, sometimes strict in banning non-flesh foods or even eggs and dairy, and other times more inclusive.
As I have aged (I am now 66), I have recognized that the path to optimal health and longevity involves diet, exercise, stress management, relationships, environment and life purpose/fulfillment – or what I call the “Agenda of Six.” Over the decades, I have observed that many people I know are not aging well and even “crashing and burning” – getting diseases as immune systems weaken, losing mental clarity and memory, declining in energy and joy in living, and drifting without life purpose and vision. I have been doing my best to enhance my Agenda of Six to live well and long (with my goal being a modest 100).
Slowly my diet has improved over the years. But I came to realize, from friends and websites, that I was risking my health with some risky eating habits. Among them were comfort foods (wheat bread and pastas), white sugar (in pastry), prepared foods (full of unpronounceable ingredients), and chicken and fish (raised under questionable circumstances; I had given up red meat long ago).
I was also told of the vitality gained from raw foods and how they deprived prospective cancer cells of fuel (too many people I know have suffered from cancer). As my mother was such a bland and cautious cook, when getting my first apartment at 23, I have been dedicated to being a gourmet cook, which meant I prepared foods from exotic ingredients and in diverse combinations – too often of dubious health value. I also became conscious that I compensated for unconscious-based emotional swings by eating too much of this or too rich of that – with bloated, tired and gaseous results.
When I learned that America’s average health span ends seven years before the average life span, I declared that I wanted to be healthy – in body, mind and spirit – until the day that I passed on. I decided to take the Big Step – and undoing an eating style of decades is a Very Big Step – and become a vegetarian! But my own version of one.
I believe in the benefit of ritual, and saw the value of clearing out the old (past) before transitioning to the new (future). The result was my seven-day cleanse – including digestive herbs in pill and powder form, fruit and vegetable smoothies, and a series of colonics (using water to flush the “gunk” out of the intestines and adjacent organs). While not an easy regimen to follow, this preparation nicely readied me for a new way of eating.
I am now happily my own model of a vegetarian. I said good-bye to fish and chicken. I prepare more raw foods, especially salads (created from 20 or so ingredients in my refrigerator). I buy virtually all-organic ingredients. I avoid wheat and dairy products. I reject food in cans. I make soups from fresh and organic ingredients. And I cook up healthy grains, some from Peru and Ethiopia, which until recently I had never heard of, adding various spices, soy sauce, nuts (soaked overnight to aid their digestibility), and vegetables (especially onions and garlic).
I was aware of the wise saying, “Sometimes you have to feed the wolf to save the sheep.” To me this means having occasional eggs, which I adore; and enjoying raw chocolate, which I now make myself and amaze others with its deep, natural and alive taste – it is simpler to whip up than I ever imagined and fits into my passion for creativity. And I reserve the right on special occasions to consume – in very small quantities to avoid shocking my body – that are no longer on my acceptable list, such as pumpkin pie with fresh whipped cream.
If you are considering becoming a vegetarian, let me share this advice with you: Do a seven-day digestive system cleanse to make the transition from old to new eating habits. Find an expert in the vegetarian, raw and healthy cooking realm to teach you how to genuinely enjoy, not just cope with, this new world of eating. Come up with your own definition of being a vegetarian – what you give up, what you follow, and what treats you will allow yourself (in moderation). Remove the forbidden foods from your larder (donating them to food banks), and stock up on fascinatingly healthy foods, such as Himalayan salt and coconut oil.
Select restaurants that have several vegetarian options on the menu, particularly exciting salads. When invited to meals in people’s homes, gently explain to them in advance what you now can and cannot eat; be somewhat flexible to consume in polite moderation foods placed in front of you that are now off your list. When people ask you why you are a vegetarian, respond with diplomatic precision and brevity, and without boosting and judging their old-paradigm foods.
So go ahead, consider becoming a vegetarian – to boost your health, control your weight, love farm/ranch animals, or save the planet. Plus, learn to creatively prepare foods from the Earth’s garden that contribute to your joy of life!
For years I was aware that important people to me were becoming vegetarians. Some gave the explanation of better health (or less weight and disease), better for animals (who will now be more at ease with you), or better for the Earth’s sustainability. I also realized that the definition of a vegetarian was flexible, sometimes strict in banning non-flesh foods or even eggs and dairy, and other times more inclusive.
As I have aged (I am now 66), I have recognized that the path to optimal health and longevity involves diet, exercise, stress management, relationships, environment and life purpose/fulfillment – or what I call the “Agenda of Six.” Over the decades, I have observed that many people I know are not aging well and even “crashing and burning” – getting diseases as immune systems weaken, losing mental clarity and memory, declining in energy and joy in living, and drifting without life purpose and vision. I have been doing my best to enhance my Agenda of Six to live well and long (with my goal being a modest 100).
Slowly my diet has improved over the years. But I came to realize, from friends and websites, that I was risking my health with some risky eating habits. Among them were comfort foods (wheat bread and pastas), white sugar (in pastry), prepared foods (full of unpronounceable ingredients), and chicken and fish (raised under questionable circumstances; I had given up red meat long ago).
I was also told of the vitality gained from raw foods and how they deprived prospective cancer cells of fuel (too many people I know have suffered from cancer). As my mother was such a bland and cautious cook, when getting my first apartment at 23, I have been dedicated to being a gourmet cook, which meant I prepared foods from exotic ingredients and in diverse combinations – too often of dubious health value. I also became conscious that I compensated for unconscious-based emotional swings by eating too much of this or too rich of that – with bloated, tired and gaseous results.
When I learned that America’s average health span ends seven years before the average life span, I declared that I wanted to be healthy – in body, mind and spirit – until the day that I passed on. I decided to take the Big Step – and undoing an eating style of decades is a Very Big Step – and become a vegetarian! But my own version of one.
I believe in the benefit of ritual, and saw the value of clearing out the old (past) before transitioning to the new (future). The result was my seven-day cleanse – including digestive herbs in pill and powder form, fruit and vegetable smoothies, and a series of colonics (using water to flush the “gunk” out of the intestines and adjacent organs). While not an easy regimen to follow, this preparation nicely readied me for a new way of eating.
I am now happily my own model of a vegetarian. I said good-bye to fish and chicken. I prepare more raw foods, especially salads (created from 20 or so ingredients in my refrigerator). I buy virtually all-organic ingredients. I avoid wheat and dairy products. I reject food in cans. I make soups from fresh and organic ingredients. And I cook up healthy grains, some from Peru and Ethiopia, which until recently I had never heard of, adding various spices, soy sauce, nuts (soaked overnight to aid their digestibility), and vegetables (especially onions and garlic).
I was aware of the wise saying, “Sometimes you have to feed the wolf to save the sheep.” To me this means having occasional eggs, which I adore; and enjoying raw chocolate, which I now make myself and amaze others with its deep, natural and alive taste – it is simpler to whip up than I ever imagined and fits into my passion for creativity. And I reserve the right on special occasions to consume – in very small quantities to avoid shocking my body – that are no longer on my acceptable list, such as pumpkin pie with fresh whipped cream.
If you are considering becoming a vegetarian, let me share this advice with you: Do a seven-day digestive system cleanse to make the transition from old to new eating habits. Find an expert in the vegetarian, raw and healthy cooking realm to teach you how to genuinely enjoy, not just cope with, this new world of eating. Come up with your own definition of being a vegetarian – what you give up, what you follow, and what treats you will allow yourself (in moderation). Remove the forbidden foods from your larder (donating them to food banks), and stock up on fascinatingly healthy foods, such as Himalayan salt and coconut oil.
Select restaurants that have several vegetarian options on the menu, particularly exciting salads. When invited to meals in people’s homes, gently explain to them in advance what you now can and cannot eat; be somewhat flexible to consume in polite moderation foods placed in front of you that are now off your list. When people ask you why you are a vegetarian, respond with diplomatic precision and brevity, and without boosting and judging their old-paradigm foods.
So go ahead, consider becoming a vegetarian – to boost your health, control your weight, love farm/ranch animals, or save the planet. Plus, learn to creatively prepare foods from the Earth’s garden that contribute to your joy of life!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Raising Your Bar
Raising Your Bar: Think of Authoring Your Book
by Larry Rosenberg
As a Globonder, striving to enhance your business success and influence for the good of the world, have you written a book yet? To do so is to raise the bar of your reputation, which leads to relationships and revenues.
Several things give evidence of your professional and business competency and stature, such as advanced degrees, top universities, prestige affiliations, awards/honors and publications. Perhaps the most dramatic sign that you are an authority in your field having authored a book. Articles are good too, but a book puts you in a bigger league.
You can author your book alone or with others. It could also be the work of a ghostwriter, editor or book doctor; but as long as your name is on the cover, you get the credit. It can be a thin or thick volume; the length matters less than the fact that you are the (apparent) author. Hard or soft cover is not that key anymore. It used to count that your publisher was well known, but this is less important now that self-publishing and e-books are considered reasonable options. Hopefully the book will get many and good reviews, but then you need only quote the good ones. Then there are the book’s sales: short of a best seller (which I wish on you!), no one has to really know how many copies you sold or have in storage.
What does your book demonstrate? That you have something that you believe is worth writing in book length and publishing. The book shows that you took the time, effort and expense to produce it. If you feel deeply about the content of your book, then the world needs to access and benefit from it and you! It enhances your reputation as a speaker and trainer, if your book mentioned in the introduction and is for sale at the event. Few things are more symbolic of your graciousness and status than giving your book as a gift to someone, and especially personalizing it with your hand-written inspirational message in the front of the book.
How easy is it to come out with a book? It depends on several things:
by Larry Rosenberg
As a Globonder, striving to enhance your business success and influence for the good of the world, have you written a book yet? To do so is to raise the bar of your reputation, which leads to relationships and revenues.
Several things give evidence of your professional and business competency and stature, such as advanced degrees, top universities, prestige affiliations, awards/honors and publications. Perhaps the most dramatic sign that you are an authority in your field having authored a book. Articles are good too, but a book puts you in a bigger league.
You can author your book alone or with others. It could also be the work of a ghostwriter, editor or book doctor; but as long as your name is on the cover, you get the credit. It can be a thin or thick volume; the length matters less than the fact that you are the (apparent) author. Hard or soft cover is not that key anymore. It used to count that your publisher was well known, but this is less important now that self-publishing and e-books are considered reasonable options. Hopefully the book will get many and good reviews, but then you need only quote the good ones. Then there are the book’s sales: short of a best seller (which I wish on you!), no one has to really know how many copies you sold or have in storage.
What does your book demonstrate? That you have something that you believe is worth writing in book length and publishing. The book shows that you took the time, effort and expense to produce it. If you feel deeply about the content of your book, then the world needs to access and benefit from it and you! It enhances your reputation as a speaker and trainer, if your book mentioned in the introduction and is for sale at the event. Few things are more symbolic of your graciousness and status than giving your book as a gift to someone, and especially personalizing it with your hand-written inspirational message in the front of the book.
How easy is it to come out with a book? It depends on several things:
- How good a writer are you? No matter how good, you still need someone to edit your work and give you feedback.
- How much discretionary time do you have to write the book? If not so much, then consider a ghostwriter.
- Do you have enough to say to create a book? If you believe in yourself and your work, then you do. If you feel a few aspects of your knowledge are missing, then do research or hire a researcher (ghostwriters usually can do the research).
If you are busy and successful, you may at least have the time to write out the book’s concept and an outline of the chapters, and maybe a proposal or even a sample (usually the first) chapter. If not, it is respectable to hire a ghostwriter to walk you through the process and interview you along the way. Nearly all famous people do it.
The Globond Team can help frame your book project and suggest ghostwriter we know to help you. Think of your book as an investment in your further success!
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